Losses
I'm taking an elective called The Healer's Art, a class that started at UCSF and has expanded to a number of US medical schools designed to help students from burnout, and bring them back to the roots about why we entered medical school in the first place. It meets 5 times during the quarter for about 2.5 hours each time. No homework, just a lot of soul searching. The topic for these two weeks' worth of meetings is about loss, how there are many kinds of losses, and many ways to be helpful and not helpful when faced with a person going through a loss. I've been having trouble thinking of what to share; hence the brainstorming on blogger.
One type is the death of someone close to you, whether it be a family member or friend.
Another is the loss of a relationship, whether it was family, an intimate relationship, or a friendship.
Another is the loss of an object that held some symbolic meaning to your life.
Another is the loss of something intangible yet symbolic as well, like time or innocence, or a previous "persona."
I think I'm leaning towards sharing something on the lines of the fourth type. Time keeps ticking on whether you like it or not. It's a big part of growing up, maturing, and living life. It keeps ticking even if you're not confident about a test and need to keep studying. Relationships change through time. The time you spend with people can increase or decrease given situations in life.
One example that I keep thinking about is the transition that happened between me and Christian when I started medical school. When we first got together, we'd spend pretty much 18 hours of the day together. Working in the same place really helped things out. The other hours were spent working or sleeping. It was great; we'd be able to have a lot of quality time to get to know each other, hang out, spend time with each other and each other's friends, and experience life together, doing new things, seeing new places, exploring, and enjoying each other's company. It culminated with a road trip across the country where we spent 10 days 24/7 around each other. Most people think it's one true test if a relationship will last, being together that long in an enclosed space. Needless to say, it was one of the best trips ever. Even if we did have 1-2 stress arguments.
Afterwards, however, I had to get back into school mode. Now that Christian's moved out here, the dynamic of our relationship is different; we don't exactly have the freedom to spend all the time in the world with each other. It causes some stress, not being able to spend as much time together; I especially feel bad leaving him here all cooped up and by himself when I leave for school or spend the entire day studying, only to come home for mealtimes and leaving until late into the night (especially bad during exam week). So in this case, the loss of time is definitely noticeable. It sucks. But, on the other hand, it really does make us appreciate the time we do have to spend with each other. As i first mentioned, it's part of this whole thing called "growing up."
Other examples include graduating from high school or college. You spend all your time with friends, and when you part to go separate ways, all promise to "K.I.T." Needless to say, it's difficult to do when everyone has his or her own schedule in college or with "real world" stuff. The time spent is different. But again, when you do get together, it's all the more appreciated. And it's like things have never changed. Time can stop in that sense, which can give warm fuzzy feelings sometime.
With respect to a different "persona," as people grow up, they can change. This is best exemplified in the parent-child relationship, or an intimate relationship that has gone sour. You wonder where the person went. He/she got replaced by this other person who is totally different from the person you once knew. It's tough to mourn those losses, but such is life. Yet, you do appreciate the time you did have that was worthwhile. And hopefully you accept the change, because it's not up to you to change others' personas.
So I have to bring an object that represents my loss. A clock will do, dontcha think?
One type is the death of someone close to you, whether it be a family member or friend.
Another is the loss of a relationship, whether it was family, an intimate relationship, or a friendship.
Another is the loss of an object that held some symbolic meaning to your life.
Another is the loss of something intangible yet symbolic as well, like time or innocence, or a previous "persona."
I think I'm leaning towards sharing something on the lines of the fourth type. Time keeps ticking on whether you like it or not. It's a big part of growing up, maturing, and living life. It keeps ticking even if you're not confident about a test and need to keep studying. Relationships change through time. The time you spend with people can increase or decrease given situations in life.
One example that I keep thinking about is the transition that happened between me and Christian when I started medical school. When we first got together, we'd spend pretty much 18 hours of the day together. Working in the same place really helped things out. The other hours were spent working or sleeping. It was great; we'd be able to have a lot of quality time to get to know each other, hang out, spend time with each other and each other's friends, and experience life together, doing new things, seeing new places, exploring, and enjoying each other's company. It culminated with a road trip across the country where we spent 10 days 24/7 around each other. Most people think it's one true test if a relationship will last, being together that long in an enclosed space. Needless to say, it was one of the best trips ever. Even if we did have 1-2 stress arguments.
Afterwards, however, I had to get back into school mode. Now that Christian's moved out here, the dynamic of our relationship is different; we don't exactly have the freedom to spend all the time in the world with each other. It causes some stress, not being able to spend as much time together; I especially feel bad leaving him here all cooped up and by himself when I leave for school or spend the entire day studying, only to come home for mealtimes and leaving until late into the night (especially bad during exam week). So in this case, the loss of time is definitely noticeable. It sucks. But, on the other hand, it really does make us appreciate the time we do have to spend with each other. As i first mentioned, it's part of this whole thing called "growing up."
Other examples include graduating from high school or college. You spend all your time with friends, and when you part to go separate ways, all promise to "K.I.T." Needless to say, it's difficult to do when everyone has his or her own schedule in college or with "real world" stuff. The time spent is different. But again, when you do get together, it's all the more appreciated. And it's like things have never changed. Time can stop in that sense, which can give warm fuzzy feelings sometime.
With respect to a different "persona," as people grow up, they can change. This is best exemplified in the parent-child relationship, or an intimate relationship that has gone sour. You wonder where the person went. He/she got replaced by this other person who is totally different from the person you once knew. It's tough to mourn those losses, but such is life. Yet, you do appreciate the time you did have that was worthwhile. And hopefully you accept the change, because it's not up to you to change others' personas.
So I have to bring an object that represents my loss. A clock will do, dontcha think?
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