i'm getting homesick. really homesick. i miss my friends so much. every single one of them. i miss lunch with the reps, chilling in my living room with my roommates, driving, the random inside jokes/teasings between my friends, playing games with them late into the night, staying up late with a late night chat, etc.

i didn't think it'd be this difficult warming up to people, but then again i've never really done it on my own; i've always had someone i know along for the ride. i never knew how much that helped. but it helps a lot! it's coming along...really, really slowly. at least i've had lunch with people the past few days, and i had a good time at Mariam's potluck today. sometimes i feel so...i don't know, inadequate compared to them....everyone's so smart. people have interviews lined up for schools, all these 2ndary apps for med schools, they've gone to ivy league/ivy caliber schools for undergrad, honors this, honors that, RA this, etc...and i'm just little ol' me from uci....i shouldn't put myself down too much though...cuz i am in their company so i must be on the same level with them somehow...and uci is a respectable school. it's just that nagging feeling in the back of my head, you know?

i guess i'll make myself feel better with retail therapy tomorrow. suburbia shopping.