why is my brain all screwy? the littlest things i'd like to get over can be the toughest to do, no matter how consciously i tell myself i'm over it. maybe there is some protein synthesis or some massive electrical activity that's triggered by certain memories, or things that connect to them...sometimes i wish those neurons weren't there anymore. i've been thinking of trying to patch things up with him, but 1 - i'm still a little terrified of him and 2 - he doesn't seem to want to...looking mean and self-absorbed and all. so now i just want to get the rest of my stuff and leave it at that. it would've been 5 years. heh it's taken me several months, but much progress has been made from my point of view and i'm happier than before.
so the event behind all this was that i accidentally called #$*() this morning instead of my parents (blind cell phone accident...i should move the preset number) and he called back at the most inopportune time - when i was merging through los feliz blvd after getting off the freeway. and i didn't have the phone connected to the headpiece. i hadn't realized my folly at the time and was genuinely surprised (and a little scared) when my phone rang and when i answered it...and gave an honest, resounding "no i didn't call you" answer. okay this isn't good for trying to get over it. ahem.
i can't believe it's week 8 already, and i'm finishing up my 3rd year in college. i still feel like a freshman! it's up from feeling 17 a couple of years ago, but still, it goes by too fast to appreciate many things. for instance, i should really take advantage of the ARC while i can still use it for free. maybe i'll actually go swimming this summer. i kinda regret not getting involved in clubs frosh/soph year, but not totally. the choices we make do have some kind of lasting effect for the future, but you can still change while you have the chance. do new things, experiment, etc. on the Board of Things to Do, we've only done a fraction of them. granted we can't do some due to financial reasons, but i realize that there's just so much out there and most of the time i'm too scared to pursue it on my own. it's more motivation to get me out of my bubble, but then it's also more fear to keep me inside it.
so what's been going on? i want to join the McGaugh lab. i saw lab rats for the first time - they're not so disgusting looking as i thought...oddly enough, i kinda thought they were cute, walking around or swimming in the water maze. and they work on Learning & Memory, my favorite part of neurobio. i've also been playing softball with the reps, and it's a lot of fun. i get what i can do done, and i run really hard. so much so that i can't move for the next two days or so, it hurts so badly! my friends and i went to the batting cages last night to practice hitting; that was cool b/c i didn't have to run! i got to hit some softballs and gauge how to hit it well. i can't hit it past infield, i bet, but that's okay.
you know what's kinda sad? if i graduate next year, i don't think i'm gonna have close friends in my major to sit with during the ceremony! the people i'm most comfy with, at least, are all in different majors or are graduating this year or staying an extra year or so, so they'll walk the year later... this upcoming year's gonna be dedicated to making bio friends who i can sit with! haha.
so the event behind all this was that i accidentally called #$*() this morning instead of my parents (blind cell phone accident...i should move the preset number) and he called back at the most inopportune time - when i was merging through los feliz blvd after getting off the freeway. and i didn't have the phone connected to the headpiece. i hadn't realized my folly at the time and was genuinely surprised (and a little scared) when my phone rang and when i answered it...and gave an honest, resounding "no i didn't call you" answer. okay this isn't good for trying to get over it. ahem.
i can't believe it's week 8 already, and i'm finishing up my 3rd year in college. i still feel like a freshman! it's up from feeling 17 a couple of years ago, but still, it goes by too fast to appreciate many things. for instance, i should really take advantage of the ARC while i can still use it for free. maybe i'll actually go swimming this summer. i kinda regret not getting involved in clubs frosh/soph year, but not totally. the choices we make do have some kind of lasting effect for the future, but you can still change while you have the chance. do new things, experiment, etc. on the Board of Things to Do, we've only done a fraction of them. granted we can't do some due to financial reasons, but i realize that there's just so much out there and most of the time i'm too scared to pursue it on my own. it's more motivation to get me out of my bubble, but then it's also more fear to keep me inside it.
so what's been going on? i want to join the McGaugh lab. i saw lab rats for the first time - they're not so disgusting looking as i thought...oddly enough, i kinda thought they were cute, walking around or swimming in the water maze. and they work on Learning & Memory, my favorite part of neurobio. i've also been playing softball with the reps, and it's a lot of fun. i get what i can do done, and i run really hard. so much so that i can't move for the next two days or so, it hurts so badly! my friends and i went to the batting cages last night to practice hitting; that was cool b/c i didn't have to run! i got to hit some softballs and gauge how to hit it well. i can't hit it past infield, i bet, but that's okay.
you know what's kinda sad? if i graduate next year, i don't think i'm gonna have close friends in my major to sit with during the ceremony! the people i'm most comfy with, at least, are all in different majors or are graduating this year or staying an extra year or so, so they'll walk the year later... this upcoming year's gonna be dedicated to making bio friends who i can sit with! haha.
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